I guess you pick up and start over.
We went to Greenwood Plantation Saturday for a romantic overnight stay. It was wonderful, and beautiful as you can see from the picture above. We didn’t actually stay in the plantation itself but on the other side of a small lake, but we toured the plantation house twice and took a ton of pictures. I have an idea for a new book, this one a ghost story.
The biggest problem with this trip was that when I came back I’d gained 2.2 pounds. Beloved said not to worry; we were going to handle it, but you know, if you’re struggling to lose weight, you do worry.
A week ago, I’d been the lowest I’d been since the start of the year and here it is MAY and I’d finally gotten 7 pounds down. In one weekend I messed up it all.
Yes, it was a special occasion (it was my 50th birthday gift and Mother’s day), but that doesn’t matter or it shouldn’t. I should be able to do what everyone else can do. I should be able to lose 1 pound a week, but you know, I celebrate losses of .4. It’s pathetic.
I’ve been doing Weight Watchers for THREE YEARS, and YAY, I’ve lost 5 STINKIN’ POUNDS. I feel like giving up.
A few weeks ago, we went to Cheeburger Cheeburger, a yummy 50s style restaurant. The Girl loves it and she was right. It was fun and delicious.
However, nearly every other person in the place was overweight. Not a little. Not like, “I can stand to lose 20 pounds.” I’m talking Biggest Loser Week 1 heavy! I felt terrible sitting there. Was I going to look like that if I eat there?
Then there was this weird thought in my head. I looked at some of those people and I thought, “They don’t count points. They don’t worry about what they eat. They could have a chocolate peanut butter milkshake without feeling guilty.”
It seems like there was a freedom there. My biggest stumbling block is that food TASTES good and that’s what gets me eating when I’m not hungry. That’s what makes me want something fried and yummy but high in points. It’s what keeps me staring at my reflection and despairing that I’ll never get to my goal weight.
Then I watch the Biggest Loser and listen to these people talk about how unhappy they were when they were heavy. I listen to Jillian trying to get to the core of why they let themselves get this way and honestly, I can’t see some deep seated reason for me. I didn’t live through my parents’ divorce or watch my parents both eat until they were over 300 pounds. I don’t have a psychological reason for eating – I’m not trying to hide behind fat.
I lost 40 pounds on Atkins before my transplant and I kept it off for about 2 years. Then the prednisone and other drugs made it easy to gain the weight back. Now, I’m taking Prograf and according to Drugs.com one of the less common side effects in kidney transplant patients is weight gain. Is it possible that I’m fighting a losing battle?
I don’t want to use that as an excuse, and in July when I talk to my nephrologist I will ask him about it. I know I don’t track well enough. I hate tracking and I know that’s the problem. I just feel like when I have to write everything down, it means no more eating out, no more going to someone else’s house and eating. How can WW be a lifestyle if it means I never can do those things?
Seems like every weekend something comes up that sabotages the week. This weekend we have a wedding reception to go to, but fortunately, it’s at an Indian restaurant and I’m not a big fan of Indian food, so maybe I won’t eat much.
Today, I did some weights at the Y. I’ve let the weight training go because I don’t get points for that, but the last meeting was about metabolism and how important strength training is, so I’m trying to add more to increase my metabolism.
We’ll see how this next week goes.
May 15th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Hey there!
Okay, Lord knows I am not a shining example of weight-loss success (as you know since you came across my blog), but I just wanted to offer up the fact that you are not alone in this . . . not by a long shot!
I think it is a great idea to talk to your nephrologist and get the scoop on if/how your medication could be affecting your weight-loss efforts. At the same time, try not to get down on yourself! Treat yourself as healthfully as you are able to right now.
For me, I really crave sweets and how certain foods taste—and I am not doing well with eating healthfully right now. But I *have* started up with the bicycling, and honestly it is benefiting me whether or not I lose a pound. I’m almost afraid to associate the exercise I’m getting with any kind of diet or something, because it’s like that might sap the joy from it . . . which okay sounds weird maybe, and now I’m rambling . . . but just know that maybe the point is to do what we can, where we’re at, with what we’ve got at the moment.
And please be kind to yourself
. You’re awesome!
May 15th, 2009 at 10:02 am
“I just feel like when I have to write everything down, it means no more eating out, no more going to someone else’s house and eating. How can WW be a lifestyle if it means I never can do those things?”
It DOESN’T mean you can never do those things! I’ve been doing those things for the past 18 months and I have lost. I track, and I eat out, and I go to other people’s homes to eat.
You don’t have to write it down while you’re out, either. You can “pre-track”, especially for restaurants, by checking out the menu online before you go, planning what you’re going to have, and calculating the points based on the nutritional info. These are two very helpful websites:
http://goodfoodnearyou.com/
http://caloriecount.about.com
If you have a blackberry/mobile phone with a data plan, you can also look up info on those sites from your phone.
Am I always perfect with it? Nope! But it will help give you a plan to work with when you eat out. If you can’t track exactly what you eat when eating at someone’s house, just estimate it as best you can when you get home. The main point is to be aware of what you’re eating and the portion sizes.
Good luck!
June 4th, 2009 at 11:48 am
A little late to the discussion here, but I totally want to echo what Carol said. I have lost 30 lbs since January and that has included both going to peoples’ homes to eat (in fact last night I went to a friend’s house and we had salmon, broccoli, kale, 4 kinds of gourmet cheese, chocolate and wine!!) AND eating out. I truly do think that the keys are
1) portion control – I find that when I am truly enjoying something, and savoring every little bite, I only NEED a few bites
2) exercise.
I’m amazed at the foods I have NOT given up since I started losing weight. I still put half and half in my coffee every morning. I still love cheese. And chocolate. The big difference is in HOW MUCH. And also, exercise.
Good luck with all of this. You can do it!!!!!!