Not a great weigh-in but I’m coping.
Monday, August 4th, 2008
I haven’t posted in a while, but I honestly think it doesn’t matter too much. I’m sure there aren’t many readers out there and the ones that are there probably get tired of hearing my fuss about this.
I’m still trying to loss that last five pounds in order to be able to start training to work for Weight Watchers. I also found out today that the temp leader we’ve been having is going to be permanent and I’m glad because I think I can “work” with her.
Last Monday I was up 1.2 (I’d been lazy in the tracking thing), but I’d lost 1.4 the week before THAT, so I felt okay about everything. Turns out that all the people that stayed for the meeting, at least the ones open enough to talk and laugh about it, were up, so we did a lot of laughing about would the receptionist ever announce that “this week we gained 5 pounds!”? It was the kind of meeting I like, when we talk and laugh together and kinda bond.
This week, I was good. I tracked everything. I worked out and made choices based on my points and really tried.
I was up 3.6 pounds! The only explanation I can come up with is we had ham barbeque last night, which was made in the crock pot with deli ham. I had two sandwiches (had done 65 minutes on the bike at the Y – 9 points) so I could handle it points-wise, but I realized today it was probably FILLED with sodium. What a dumbo! (to quote Donna Nobel from Doctor Who)
The upshot of this is that now I’m EIGHT pounds from 165, the weight I have to be to even think about working for WW.
I know there are some of you (one?) who are wondering why I even still want to work for them. To be honest, my excitement about this is waning. I really thought I’d be at 165 by the end of the summer, and friends, I have been trying. My family will tell you I have, but at this point, no matter how well I track, work out and make good choices, I have no idea when I head to the weigh-in on Monday whether the scale will be up or down.
Sometimes it’s down and I think, Yea, I’ve figured this out, but I do the same or better the next week and the numbers go up. I worry that even if I do get to the goal weight I can stay there. I’m sure menopause has something to do with and of course, apparently there is a thyroid problem (the endocrinologist wants to take it out, too, so that’s probably what will happen over Christmas break – yea.)
The good thing is I’ve stopped crying about it. Today I’m tempted, of course. I mean, THREE POUNDS, almost FOUR?? How do I recover from that??
But, I feel like there’s no option. I mean, I could quit WW altogether, but then where will I be? Back at 188 in no time, I’m sure. I mean, I do know how to make good choices and all that, but if I try to do it by myself, as my sister-in-law is doing, I know it wouldn’t last two weeks, and I’d be back to grazing whenever I feel like it. At least tracking makes me think about my food intake.
I am discouraged, but as I say at the top, I’m coping. I will brush myself off and keep going, but I wonder if I really ever will see my goal weight as all the leaders keep promising.